Thursday, April 30, 2009

Fairy strange behavior

A certain family with four boys is going to break the Tooth Fairy if the boys keep losing teeth at the rate they have been.
These children seem to be on a roll, losing one tooth after another. A couple weeks ago, there were two teeth from two boys on the same night. There was another one Tuesday night. That's a lot of commerce and outlay for a fairy who doesn't seem altogether organized.
There was one night last year when the Tooth Fairy missed her transaction, presumably due to sleeping through the night. It's almost as if she took fairy ambien or something. Another time, I heard she showed up, but couldn't see anything because it was so dark in the bedroom, and I guess she couldn't see what money she was leaving under the pillow, so instead of two dollars, she left Wyatt two $10-dollar bills for his tooth.
That was exciting! For him.
Come to think of it, there doesn't seem to be great consistency regarding what the Tooth Fairy leaves for a tooth. Sometimes the boys will get a couple dollars, sometimes a fiver for a molar; there's no telling what to expect. Does she not carry cash?
I wouldn't be surprised if one time she left a check under the pillow.
It's not entirely her fault, I theorize, because these four boys play musical beds. They'll start out in a particular bed, and put the tooth under the pillow, but then sometime in the middle of the night, they move to another bed, and then the Tooth Fairy has trouble tracking the tooth. It's like a soft shell game played in the dark, and she needs a GPS tracker, or LoJack.
Her reliability may be questionable, but when she does fly through, she always leaves a trail of sparkly, fine pixie dust in her wake. Whichever boy loses a tooth, when he finally gets his money from her, also wakes up with sparkles in his hair and on his pillow. I think it falls off her wings, or is a sort of fairy contrail. The boys once expressed wonder at what she does with all those teeth, why she takes them.
They must mean something to her.


Karen said...

What a lovely little essay, Lisa. You should write a parenting book. The bookstores are full of them and yours would be much better.

I can only imagine how busy the tooth fairy is at your house. She won't visit us any more. Margaret lost her last baby tooth sometime last year. That was a bit of a sad milestone. But even with just one child to keep track of the tooth fairy was never all that reliable.

megan said...

Our tooth fairy once was late by 3 days - I guess she was overwhelmed and had a run of teeth - I think I she must have been stuck at your house, Lisa!