Any Given Saturday

I really wanted to go to a Derby party this year, but I don't know the Lee Brothers, or anyone else who was having one, so all signs pointed to my kitchen. I ordered a big Smithfield ham. When it arrived Friday night, I realized that I over-ordered, because there was enough ham to feed everyone at Churchill Downs plus the Queen and her entourage. But that's okay, there are a million uses for leftover ham.
The Lee Brothers have earned my undying admiration for their wonderful and spirited cookbook, which not only gave me my entire party spread idea, but fail-safe recipes for everything.

I made their deviled eggs, which contain curry powder, Texas Pete pepper sauce, and are sprinkled with finely chopped scallions and/or cracked black pepper and/or crispy crumbled bacon.

Also, I made pimento cheese, clam dip, and riffed on their idea of pickled shrimp to have peel & eat. I meant to make their cheese straws but I ran out of time, and I gave up the idea of homemade biscuits when I realized that I did not have buttermilk and refused to go to Publix again. I figured this would happen, and had two back-up tins of biscuits, and decided that every hostess should have a tin of these in her fridge for eliminating pre-party stress. I was getting really stressed out about a half hour before party time and had difficulty opening one of the tins and started whacking it against the countertop really hard, and it felt so good! Totally snapped me out of that brewing surly mood! I felt refreshed and invigorated. While I am sure homemade biscuits taste better, and you could make an argument that a fine ham deserves a better biscuit, the issue is not something I'll ever lose sleep over.
(Too much ham.)

I made mint-infused simple syrup for the mint juleps and a big jug of delicious iced tea (not overly "sweet tea") made with Irish Breakfast tea.

The bourbon for the mint juleps had to be Maker's Mark, Kentucky's finest, and instead of capping the juleps off with seltzer, I used fizzy San Pellegrino. Very good! Oh -- I also made water chestnuts wrapped in bacon, the '70s-American version of the devils-on-horseback suggested by Mannix. My mom made these scrumptious tidbits for her cocktail parties and it was always a thrill to be able to sneak a few.

There was a rush of fast conversation as our friends arrived seven minutes before the most exciting two minutes in sports. Since our friend, Frank, loves Champagne, we popped the cork on some Veuve Clicquot and scrambled up to the T.V. to pick our horses and lay down the money. Harry picked "the blue horse," which was I'mawildandcrazyguy, and I picked AnygivenSaturday because he looked beautiful.
And they were off! The winner was Street Sense, and surprisingly, the unbridled (cough) jubilation of jockey Calvin Borel at the finish line was worth every penny I lost. Still, Harry should have collected the pot, but Troy dismissed him on the grounds that he had not put in. Technically, no one put in, because none of us were carrying cash, so I disagree. I later gave Harry a dollar for his win. I'll hold the rest in trust if I ever collect.

That said, I should have won the pot, but after the Champagne and a mint julep, we all forgot about it because we were too buzzed and intently focused on the shrimp and ham.

Here's Frank, who owes me money, with Cooper, who apparently lost his shirt and his pants.

It would be hard not to have a good time at a Derby party, for all the combined elements -- you've got a lively environment, friends, an awesome spread of food but no constricting sit-down affair, beautiful animals, money changing hands, and a signature cocktail. And pearls are not out of place.
Now, you know I wasn't really going to dress up in my house -- it's too hot, I'm busy running around, woo woo. But I did don Troy's Tilly hat for about 3 seconds for y'all.

This could easily be my new favorite event.
Next year, I will start the party earlier, make the cheese straws, and suggest my guests bring cash.